How to tell when someone loves you

Photo credit: {peace&love♥} on flickr

How can you tell when someone loves you?  I’ve spent some time thinking about this topic and have noticed there are some pretty obvious signs – signs that people don’t talk about & research doesn’t point to – that indicate someone loves you. I’m not talking about the way he points his knees towards you when you’re sitting on the couch together or the way she touches her neck when she laughs at something you’ve said (and harder than she needed to laugh). Nope. Not those things.

These things.

How to tell when someone loves you

–       They wipe the crumbs from your chin after you’ve been eating. Ever have that moment at a dinner table when you’re talking to a group of friends and someone lovingly brushes your chin in a nanosecond, so quickly no one else blinks an eye? That person wouldn’t want you to be embarrassed in front of others, so they instinctively (and without hesitation) wipe it off for you. That’s love.

–       You can sit in silence without feeling weird. My Mom always said that if you find someone with whom you can sit in the quiet and not feel awkward, you should hang onto that person. When you can clean your apartment, run errands or watch crappy television with someone and not feel like you need to fill every silent moment with words, that’s love.

–       They want you to be happy: even when it doesn’t involve them. Most people will say they want you to be happy, but they mostly mean that when your happiness helps make them happy, too. When someone loves you, they want for your happiness all of the time – not just when it’s going to benefit them on some level. When this person just lost their job on the same day you landed your dream job and they can still be happy for you, that’s love. When they have to sacrifice something to make you happy – and they do it willingly – that’s love.

–       They take care of you when you’re sick. ‘Nuff said. Most friends will feign sympathy (or maybe it’ll even be real) when you’re puking your guts out or are stricken with a nasty virus, but the ones who love you will offer to bring you provisions (Nyquil, soup, Jack Daniels) and stroke your hair while beads of sweat form on your forehead. That’s love.

–       They see movies you want to see with an actor they abhor, just because you want to see it. That’s love.

–       They pick your eyelashes from your cheek and don’t feel weirded out about touching your face or a fallen eyelash that belonged to you. Then they tell you to make a wish. That’s love.

–       They listen to you talk about your pet for 10 minutes straight without zoning out or thinking, “This person is nuts”. Love!

–       They call you on your bullshit, want you to be a better person– and love you anyway. Love, love, love.

–       They feel your sadness when you’re upset about something. Sometimes they cry with you. Sometimes they offer solutions. Whatever they do, they always know the appropriate response for each situation.  That’s love.

Definition of love

When someone rubs your back just for the sake of rubbing it, waters your plants while you are away, cares about your childhood memories and photographs, knows exactly what you’re going to order at the restaurant, grabs your hand under the table to give it a squeeze, doesn’t care about how much money you make, knows your boss’ (and coworkers’) names, beams with pride when you do something well – that is love.

If you love someone…tell them. We are here to experience love: to give it, get it and share it. Just love.

What does love mean to you? How do you know when someone loves you? 

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High Park – nature’s refuge in an urban jungle

Old man with a long beard -- in a tree

In University I met my dear friend, Kathy. Aside from teaching me how to speak some phrases in Persian (which came in handy when dating a Persian woman!), she’s shown me that you really can just see someone a couple of times a year and feel “at home” with them. Kathy and I knew we would be friends from the moment we laid eyes on each other. It’s like a love story — a platonic love story. After graduation from University we no longer see each other as much as we used to, but when we meet up it’s like no time has passed at all.

Earlier this month, Kathy and I met up for our annual stroll through High Park, Toronto’s largest public park right smack dab in the middle of the city. This place is what the entire city would be were it not for the 3 million people who live here. It’s got hiking trails, sports facilities, playgrounds, a dog park, squirrels and other creatures who call it home. It’s gorgeous and it makes me love this city. These pictures tell you why.

Feeling peaceful

Bonus: I introduced Kathy to geocaching while we were out for our annual High Park stroll. She found her first cache! Curious about geocaching? It’s as geeky as it sounds, but hella fun.

Perty, ain't they?